


Someone Watching Over Me

by duchesskryze (i_want_rose_tyler_back)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Bad Wolf, F/M, Writing practice, no editing we die like men, so i wrote a slightly angty headcanony thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 02:37:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12761349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_want_rose_tyler_back/pseuds/duchesskryze
Summary: He really should have realized sooner that she was watching over him. Even now.





	Someone Watching Over Me

He knows he should have known she was watching over him, even now, far earlier.

 

He should have realized when out of anywhere he could have gone, he fell in Amelia’s yard, at that time. He wonders if he truly had to land twelve years in Amy’s future, or if that was her doing too. Her way of teasing him again. He sort of hoped it was.

 

He should have known, when he never really felt alone, when he could almost swear she was in the room with him once again.

 

He should have known, when he fell in love again and he could almost hear her tell him ‘It’s ok doctor. You need a hand to hold.’

 

He should have known, when the only place the TARDIS would go when he was fully intending never to travel again, was among friends.

 

He should have known when he met a new friend, working in a bar at a place called The Rose.

 

He definitely should have known when he found her again, when she had sacrificed herself, and walked into his time stream, and still lived. When he ran in after her and the universe didn’t collapse, he should have known he has a goddess on his side.

 

Yet nothing really fell into place until ‘Bad Wolf girl, I could kiss you!’ his hearts skipped a beat as he thought of what it must mean, but was quickly distracted.

 

He didn’t forget. Great Time Lords don’t just forget, especially not something so important. He just… put in on the back burner in his mind. It was always there, he just didn’t touch it. He was almost afraid to.

 

He may have thought about it again briefly when he was granted another twelve regenerations, but well, there were other things on his mind.

 

He still thought of Rose from time to time. Actually, it was rare not to think of her, but he would tell himself otherwise. Often it was something as simple as smelling a rose, and just having the distinct feeling the rose smelt wrong. He just couldn’t place what.

 

When Clara and him fought, he did something he simultaneously swore to do one day, and to never do. He entered her old room.After all, he needed a reason to keep the room, but the pain of seeing it…

 

It was almost exactly how he remembered. Some details had slipped his mind, such as the books on her shelf and just how much makeup was on her vanity, and really she was terribly messy. The sheets were still askew from her waking the morning she was lost.

 

What he did remember however, was the wall of pictures she had taken of their time together. She had always insisted, and he could never resist anything she asked. He wondered if deep down she knew this would happen, that one day far in the future, he’d be without her, and he’d need to see her face, to be reminded of the woman who loved him, no matter how little he thought of himself.

 

It sounded so Rose that the doctor had to sit on the edge of her bed. Careful not to disturb anything. It wasn’t until the TARDIS left a box of tissues beside him did he realize he’d been crying.

 

He walked out of the room, sending a silent request to the TARDIS to lock the door and hide it again, before returning to the console room to find Clara.

 

Maybe one day he’d have the strength to watch the videos Rose had made too. Surely hearing her voice wouldn’t be so terrifying in another few centuries.

 

For now, he returned to Clara. And put all thoughts of the Bad Wolf out of his mind… Mostly.

 

At least until he was alone again, but he wasn’t, his wife was there, beside him, and they had years to spend together on the slow path.

 

‘stuck with you? thats not so bad.’

 

“What’s on your mind sweetie?” River asked, and he smiled despite the band tightening around his heart.

 

“Oh nothing, everything. You know, the usual.” He said, listening to the singing towers.

 

“Alright.” He couldn’t help the errant thought that Rose would have pushed to hear what was wrong, but he dispelled it immediately. It wasn’t fair to compare them. He loved them both, in their own ways, for their own reasons.

 

Instead he led her back inside, and if the singing towers seemed to whisper Bad Wolf as he left, well, it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

 

Before he knew it, there was Bill. Another drop in the bucket. Just as important and magnificent as the last. Somewhere, deep down, he knew Rose had been watching over her. Sometimes she said things, and he almost felt like he was in his tenth body again, babbling to Martha and Donna over something or other.

 

And then, there was the fact that she remembered, when she wasn’t supposed to. Yes, Rose was definitely watching over them.

 

He’s ashamed to admit however, that it didn’t hit him until the end. When he was regenerating, and he saw a face in the glowing light. His favourite pink and yellow human, always watching over him.

 

“I want you safe, my doctor.” The voice spoke, and the doctor prepared himself for his hearts to break at the sound of her voice again. Instead, he felt the smallest glimmer of happiness. He forgot how much he loved her voice.

 

But as soon as the vision came, it also ended, and the doctor quickly figured out he, was not so much a he anymore. Or maybe he was? He wasn’t quite sure. Well, he’d question it later.

 

He had some videos to watch.

 

 


End file.
